It's Better if You Don't Understand

"I could tell that he saw the world around him as it really was. To me, he seemed to see the sap bleeding from the trunks of the pine trees, and the circle of brightness in the sky where the sun was smothered by clouds. He lived in the world that was visible. I knew he noticed the trees, and the mud, and the children in the street, but I had no reason to believe he'd ever noticed me...

"Perhaps this is why when he spoke to me, tears came stinging to my eyes."

0711

here we go, welcome to my funeral.
here i go, this is my confessional.
a lost cause, nobody can save my soul.
i am so delusional.
i have destroyed it, it's gone.
payback is sick.
*i'm dancing with tears in my eyes*
just fighting to get through the night.
i'm losing it.
with every move i die.
i'm fading, i'm broken inside ( i admit )
i've wasted a love of my life.
when did i become such a hypocrite?
double life, lies that u caught me in.
trust me, i'm paying for it.
with every move i die.
on the floor i'm just a zombie.
who i am is not who i wanna be.
i'm such a tragedy. this is it.
never once thought i'd be in pieces left behind. Ke$ha

Psalm 183

Pardon me if i seem to cop an attitude,
But the attitude is one of worship and is--i think--SINCERE.
My heart swells against the prison of my ribs,
and it grows to keep my lungs from seeking air.
Still the breath is not pushed out by such a simple force as 'Pride',
but by the glory of my dreaming that i might, perhaps, be loved..
by you.

Pardon me if i'm moved to endless chatter,
But i fear the beauty of the silence
As i watch your distant eyes caress the words i've arranged..

* * * *

i dont want to be like a bird or butterfly anymore. i'm getting tired and drained from flying away all the time. Teach me to stop and stay a while. I think i'd like that. <3

So What is Love?

Nathaniel Hawthorne worked at the customs house in Boston, MA. When there was a change in management there, he lost his job. He went home dejected and almost desperate. He was worried about his family and, in particular, how his wife would take the bad news.

Instead of reproaching him when she found out, his wife put a pen and ink on the table before him. She lit the fireplace and put her arms lovingly around his shoulders. "Now you will be able to write your book," she said. Hawthorne, reassured by his wife's words and actions, set about writing his novel, The Scarlet Letter, which would prove to be the first step in a famous writing career.

It is sweet, gentle, soft, understanding, accepting, trusting, supportive, and kind.
=*)

Never Settle

Those who know me know that my motto is "Never Settle" .. I apply that to many aspects in my life, my career in particular. So as i'm home on my 9th and final day off in a row and feeling useless, i couldnt help but think how much i want to go back to work and continue to help save lives. I start to miss being at work after a few days. I really love what i do. And as much as i am happy with it, i'm always looking to see WHAT ELSE i can do as a Bachelor's prepared Registered Nurse, ACLS/BLS certified, licensed in NY and NJ, 2.5 yrs experience thus far, now working in an Adult Surgical ICU in Manhattan, and taking graduate classes towards my Master's. WHAT ELSE is out there for me?? You know what i mean? Never Settle.. i never do settle. I never want to stay in one place for too long and evenutally decompose. I always want to keep my mind stimulated with new and different things to learn and experience. I believe i was destined to be in this career path, and i "can't stop won't stop" pushing myself further with it.

I've been through so much hardships and jumped through hoops and over hurdles (and fell once or twice) to get to where i am now, and even though i know there's going to be more hardships ahead, i'm ready to face them and overcome them with the help of God. The road to the most meaningful Happiness of all is never the smooth and easy one.


I'm looking forward to going back to work tomorrow night =)

Orlando & Bahamas 2010!

A bunch of videos we took during our greatest weekend ever!! =)

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com